Ryther - Healthy Children, Stronger Families

In recognition of Child Abuse Prevention Month, Ryther Therapist Lindsey Beaky MA, LMHCA offers some insights on how you can do your part to protect children. She explains the often daunting and ambiguous task of when and how to involve Child Protective Services.

Who should report child abuse and neglect?

Professionals who work with children regularly, such as teachers, health care professionals and therapists, are certainly an important part of the recognition and prevention of child abuse. These groups are considered “mandated reporters,” which means they are bound by law to report any signs or suspicion of abuse or neglect of child. While this is April Child Abuse Prevention Month, it’s important to note that most intakes (about 63%) by Child Protection Services are for neglect while 27% are for physical abuse. Whatever the reason, it’s important for all members of our community to understand and take part in this process in order to keep children safe.

You may be a close friend or family member of a child who you suspect is being abused. It’s important to learn to recognize the signs of child abuse and how to approach the child, the parent or both. No matter what, the bottom line is that if you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, it’s vital to call Child Protective Services. Calling CPS does not necessarily mean that a child will be removed from the home. It simply starts a process and creates a record of reports that could, in the end, help the child and family.

How can you recognize child abuse?

In order to recognize potential child abuse, it’s important to understand the different behaviors both parents and children display when abuse is occurring in the family.

Some warning signs that a child is being abused or neglected:

- Her behavior or school performance changes suddenly
- She comes to school early or late, is absent frequently, or does not want to go home
- Medical needs brought to a parent’s attention are not met
- She is watchful or anxious around adults
- She has bruises or injuries that cannot be explained
- She has consistently poor hygiene
- She begs for or steals food or money

Some warning signs that are unique to child sexual abuse include:

- He has difficulty walking or sitting
- He refuses to change for gym
- He reports bedwetting, having nightmares or a sudden change in appetite
- He displays sexual knowledge that is unusual when compared to other kids in his age group

Parents who may be physically or emotionally abusing a child may have these behaviors:

- They offer no explanation, or conflicting explanations, for injuries
- They describe their child in a negative way
- They use harsh physical discipline or are indifferent toward their child
- They abuse alcohol or other drugs
- They refuse offers of help for the child’s problems

Parents who are sexually abusing their child may have the following behaviors:

- They limit the child’s contact with others and are extremely protective
- They are jealous or controlling of other family members
- They are secretive and isolated

Most importantly, if a child reports that they are being physically, emotionally, or sexually abused, or neglected, it is critical that you assume they are telling the truth and that they picked to tell you, as a person who can help them. 

How do you approach the child?

If you believe you have reason to suspect any form of child abuse or neglect, make time to talk to the child about this right away. Find a confidential location and point out what you’ve noticed about their appearance or demeanor. Ask them to tell you about home. Who do they live with? Who are they close to? Are they afraid of anyone? Be aware that if a child is experiencing sexual abuse, he or she may not recognize it as “bad.” When you call Child Protective Services, they will ask for specific information, including: the child’s and parents’ names, birthdate, address, and when an event occurred. CPS and the local police will then take steps to protect the child if he or she is in immediate danger.

How do you approach the child’s parent?

Depending on your relationship with a child’s parent and the nature of the abuse suspected, it may be most helpful for you to assume that the parent is struggling and would accept assistance or support if given to them. Many parents lack the skills, resources, and knowledge to do better, even when they really want to. Approach the parent with care and concern. Find out what the family needs. Provide some resources such as information about parenting classes or counseling, and if you are a family member or friend, offer to take the child for a weekend so that the parents can have a break.

While you do not have to tell them that you are calling CPS, it’s extremely important that you do call CPS, even if you speak to the parents and provide resources and support. If abuse is occurring in a home, Child Protective Services will take additional steps to ensure that parents are connected with services and that children are protected.

What happens next?

Once child abuse or neglect is reported, you may begin to witness serious changes in the family, such as a child being removed from the home or a parent going to jail. Things may get worse for the family before they get better due to separation or sudden involvement with the legal system. Remember, safety for a child is the number one priority, and if your actions meet that goal, the child is ultimately better off than before. Also, if a family is willing and able to change, they will take the steps to do so and may eventually feel thankful for being given the opportunity.

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Notes from Lee Grogg, Ryther Executive Director: Washington’s Children’s Administration periodically sends out reports with data about its activities. You might be interested in what some of that data is.

In the State’s fiscal year 2011 (ending last July 1) there were 77,882 referrals received by CPS reporting alleged abuse or neglect. 37,992 were “screened in” for investigation while 35,772 were deemed for some reason not meeting a standard for further involvement of the agency. In short, about half of all reports made get investigated. If you total the “screened in” and “screened out” figures there is a gap of some 4,118 referrals that is unexplained.

On June 30, 2011, there were nearly 10,000 children in the care of the Children’s Administration. This figure has remained surprisingly stable over the years. Of the 9,987 children in care, 90% (8,966) were in out-of-home care of some kind. A little over a thousand of the children were in State Dependent In-Home care. 3,174 of the children in out-of-home care were placed with relatives. This figure has increased via policy emphasis in recent years. 5,819 (65%) were in foster care or group homes.

The most common reasons for intakes were Negligence or Maltreatment (62.7%), Physical Abuse (27.3%) and Sexual Abuse (4.8%). Assuming that intakes equal the number of children in care in 2011, that means there were approximately 6,562 neglected children, 2,726 physically abused children and 479 sexually abused children in the system.

There were 18 child fatalities in open Children’s Administration (CA) cases of which 11 were due to abuse. At this point the published report seems a bit obtuse. In breaking down the 18 fatalities of kids in open cases they report a line “the number related to child abuse” as being 11 while in the next line they report “abuse-related fatalities in open CA cases” being 7. The wording suggests that, in fact, all 18 fatalities in open CA cases were due to abuse.

An interview with Beta Theta Pi Philanthropy Chair Danny Chandler and fraternity members James Coatsworth and Kyle Ahrens after a few of the fraternity brothers spent some time with the teen boys in Cottage B who are receiving inpatient treatment for drug and alcohol addiction. Beta Theta Pi is a unit of the Ryther League and visits frequently to help the boys expand their sense of what is possible if they work hard towards a goal…as well as play some basketball!

What did you find most interesting about your discussion with the teens?

Danny: At first, the boys were a little skeptical of us, acting as though we were completely different people than them, and as if we wouldn’t understand them. After a few questions about fraternity life and college life in general, they started to realize that we were not so different from them, and that we might have some good advice.

James: The entire group’s demeanor changed as the discussion went on. In the beginning, they were joking around, talking with each other and not paying much attention. But as the conversation continued, more and more in-depth questions arose, such as when we talked about addressing conflict in a house full of male adolescents. The boys were also very interested in college and had several good questions about higher education.

Did you feel like you could relate to them? Why or why not?

 Danny: Obviously there are differences, but at the end of the day we are all teenage guys who more or less think alike and act alike in certain situations.

James: It’s honestly difficult for me to relate to guys with a tough upbringing and understand what these boys have gone through, but I still enjoyed trying to relate, and it helps me grow by learning of their experiences. At the same time, we’re all guys. We all enjoyed playing basketball. We probably eat the same food, laugh at the same stuff and idolize the same celebrities.

Kyle: I am not too much older than these guys so I can relate to them in that we all like to play sports, laugh at the same things, and can have a good time together playing basketball (which was a great time, even though we lost the game).

How did basketball go?

 James:  It was fun! They were competitive, and Danny told me it was the most intense Ryther game he’d ever seen. The guys wanted to beat us, and they did just that. They worked as a team better than we did.

Was there a moment that you’ll remember?

 Danny: At the end of the game, I could really tell that the boys had a good time. They looked like they were happy with each other, joking around and having fun. Going into each of the small group meetings at the cottage, I really hope that the kids will have a good time and that we can make a positive impact. After the basketball game, I could see that we achieved this goal.

James: Shaking hands after the game. It showed me that the guys weren’t as tough as they tried to look. We played hard basketball for about a half hour, maybe longer, and everyone was happy for that whole time. The tension that hung in the air at the beginning was gone by the end of the game.

Kyle: Every time someone got knocked down, there was another guy there to help him up.

Contributed by Danny Chandler, James Coatsworth and Kyle Ahrens, UW Beta Theta Pi fraternity members and League members. To learn more about the Ryther League or to join, visit this page.

Each year, the nearly 18,000 Walmart associates in Washington state are asked to vote on which local non-profit organization should receive the Associate Choice grant.  It’s part of a process that takes place over seven weeks, throughout the country, where thousands of associates weigh in online on which organization in their state most deserves Walmart’s support.

This year, Walmart’s Associate Choice program awarded a total of $7 million in grants to organizations across the country, including $100,000 to Ryther in Washington State.

Part of Walmart’s mission is to give back in the communities where we operate.  As Walmart’s director of public affairs and government relations for Washington and Oregon, I have the privilege of working with many fantastic Northwest non-profits—organizations that all do extraordinary work.  Ryther stands out, not only because of the amazing work that takes place there every day, but because of how well its mission aligns with Walmart’s own giving priorities.

In all of our giving efforts, we strive to address the unmet needs of underserved populations by supporting organizations that give individuals access to a better life.  This is exactly what Ryther does for so many children and families who have nowhere else to turn.

Ryther’s mission and the work conducted by its entire staff, volunteers and those in the Ryther League, reflect each of the areas where we focus our charitable giving—education, workforce development and economic opportunity, environmental sustainability, and health and wellness.  With the most recent Associate Choice grant, Walmart has provide a totally of $185,000 in grants to Ryther since 2008.

Walmart Associates receive the Mother Ryther Home Award, being accepted by Jennifer Spall.

I want to express my gratitude for Ryther’s recognition of our company with the Mother Ryther Home Award.  It was an honor to accept the award on behalf of Walmart and our foundation at the recent fundraising luncheon.  We’re grateful to be able to play part in helping carry on Mother Ryther’s tremendous legacy of helping children in need.

Yesterday, November 10 2011 Ryther had its annual fund raising luncheon and thanks to so many kind and generous people it was a huge success. I want to especially thank our inspirational keynote speaker John Stanton, Jean Enersen for her customary outstanding job as emcee, and Josh our client speaker for his compelling story. Of course I also want to thank everyone who attended and donated to the cause.
IIt was a good event and I think told the Ryther story effectively.

A few years ago, I was looking for a fun and innovative way to volunteer and give back to my community. The Women’s Philanthropic Investment Group of Seattle (WPIG) was the perfect fit for me. Founded in 2008, WPIG is committed to serving the emotional, developmental and physical needs of women and children by contributing financial donations and donations of time and energy. Our intent is to help women and children move from places of need to self sufficiency and stability. We meet our goals through smart investment practices, fundraising, volunteering and our annual silent art auction, Pigture Perfect.

Pigture Perfect Silent Art Auction is on Nov. 4

WPIG seeks out organizations with values and goals that align with our mission of supporting women and children. Our 2010 and 2011 charity is Ryther. WPIG has chosen to carry out our mission through volunteering our time, energy and compassion to support the amazing work that happens at Ryther.

Volunteering at Ryther has been a wonderful experience for me and for the rest of our members. Last year, WPIG planned and facilitated a night of fall and Halloween themed arts and crafts activities for the children living at Ryther. The night was such a hit that WPIG will be planning another similar event at the end of this month. In addition to the Halloween night, WPIG also had a great time washing vans and cleaning up the Ryther campus during the summer of 2010.

A WPIG member washing a Ryther van

In addition to volunteering on the Ryther campus, WPIG will be donating funds raised at our annual art action, Pigture Perfect. The auction will be held November 4^th, 2011 at the Fremont Abbey Arts Center. WPIG members have been working hard to procure art and other donations for the event. Our blog is currently featuring a “sneak peek” of current art donations. Check it out at http://www.wpigseattle.blogspot.com/. For more information about Pigture Perfect, please visit our website at http://www.wpigseattle.org/WPIG/Events.html.

- Edna Merrick Maddalena